Well, it's that time of year again -- the season when I drop unsubtle hints to my owner Ronnie about how he can best show his appreciation of my tireless companionship and unswerving loyalty throughout the year. Yes, the holidays, are nearly upon us, and though I will probably end up settling for the same bacon-flavored chew toy Ronnie seems gets me every year, I figure it doesn't hurt to aim high.

So here it is, Ronnie, your one stop shopping guide on how to make your favorite Yellow Lab swish his tail in delight. In light of the current economic crisis, I'm going easy on you this year, and only requesting one humble gift...

This Italian, 22-karat gold mattress made for dogs.

It's anatomic, ergonomic, anti-static, anti-bacterial and only costs about $1,000.

You okay Ronnie? Why are you lying on the floor? Can I get you a glass of water?